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Ep. 005: Agonie's Fall

"Jove, be merciful to that unfortunate woman

         Or an ornamental death will be held to your debit,

The time is come, the air heaves in torridity,

The dry earth pants against the canicular heat, 

But this heat is not the root of the matter:

              She did not respect all the gods;

Such derelictions have destroyed other young ladies aforetime.

        And what they swore in the cupboard

                                    wind and wave scattered away."

-Ezra Pound

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everything is the fact of what was dreamed. everything the master work of micro-manifestations by ten thousand things. We have spent all our money and we're looking for an image. Meaning we bet all we had on this imaginary image. Supposedly we was dreaming of it last night. Ah yes, there it is. That white-hot light of distortion, of sleepiness. that's what we was dreaming of. When Agonie returns from the Place Where the Machine Will Be, she is terrorized by a white sun. The sun was always yellow or red or orange or golden. In the pacific Northwest, where Lucifer and his legions of Nymphic Witches live, the sun is white, but it is not hot. There, the sun rises lazily above the thick mossy hills late in the morning to about 45 degrees above the horizon. Then it stops moving and massively exhales a white fog which permeates the consciousness of everything on the wet green earth. Evening comes and the white sun slips breathlessly away to the exact spot from which it rose. 
Agonie's new sun was of an entirely different personality. A brutal vibrating white death, evil as a pinpoint and wicked like a German Shepherd who has lost control, white foaming saliva spraying from its muzzle. 

Slowly, tho somehow all at once like nausea, Agonie began to fall from the sphere of Athena's stars. The awful sensation filled her that it was no comforting gravity pulling her down but a thick hand from above which pushed her away. Utter rejection, as though it were a mistake that Agonie was permitted into the Zodiacal shere in the first place. Having been found out from her floating hiding place the massive hand pushed her down hatefully, spitefully. So she fell backwards, cursed to look at a receding heaven which she could no longer remember. Now the hand closed about her, crushing and twisting skin, Agonie recognized it as the very same force which pulled her from that crusty orange chair. She was now moving at speeds beyond the human capacity to comprehend. The vibration were viscious, Agonie's insides convulsing in protest to the shattering of every atom about her. The veil of the heavens gone, forever. 
 

When the hand finally released her Agonie felt the pain of every broken bone and every laceration of the flesh suddenly able to expand freely, as when one holds tightly to rough rope the skin is numb and painless but when the grip is released and blood rushes into the hand the pain suddenly flashes hot white. Agonie, my child, how like a classical image of defeat you looked as you fell through empty space, balled like a fetus and sobbing into your bloody hands. I pray to the blood of christ, i pray to the cup of salvation for you when you hit that brutally hard floor, the basement of hell, the lowest low a soul may know, that you do not shatter like porcelain. I pray you be strong enough not to die when you hit the bottom floor but are knocked unconscious and granted the longest, deepest and most empty sleep you've ever known. 

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she's a little wonderous leaning forward
like that
nearly aloof to herself
most nearly angelic keeping
secrets like the pressed flowers

they keep in texas;
in shadow boxes & lockets,
sunrooms & rivieras,
in places where one is either
shadow or shadower,,
she somehow manages both

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